Falling Off the Wagon

I haven't posted in awhile, why you may ask....I have fallen off the band wagon. I have a number of excuses that I could insert as to justify why I haven't worked out and eaten well but they are just that...excuses. I know everyone makes New Year's resolutions, and I want to make sure this one sticks. I'm tired of being so overweight and I can tell my body is sick of it. So here's to starting up yet again!!!

Through The Years

Wonderful News, I have lost 20 pounds. I keep standing on the scale because I just don't believe it. I knew I had been striving for that goal but I HONESTLY don't think that I have been giving it my 100% best effort. I could always do better...but couldn't we all?!?! Anyway YAY!!!

Over the last couple of days I have been reminising about my life and thinking of all the times I have tried to lose weight; trying to remember at what point I really started gaining weight and what growing up being overweight meant for me.
As far back as I can really remember I have been overweight. But I guess I really noticed gaining weight at least twice in my life. The first time being after my oldest sister and I were in a car accident, I know I was only 5 at the time but it was a very stressful year for our entire family; and we tend to be emotional eaters meaning we eat our emotions (if we are happy we eat, if we are bored we eat etc etc etc.) The second time I remember starting to gain more weight was in Junior High. I would have to say my 7th and 8th grade years were the worst for me. I know people tell me to forget about the negative things that have been said and remember the positive; but it wasn't always things that were said by my peers it was their actions. One thing I never shared with anyone is how bullied I was in 8th grade because of my weight. I had one classmate who was brutal, she use to poke my stomach and make pilsburry dough boy jokes and would get others in on the joke. One other time that I especially remember is her bringing one of those rubber gloves (the kind you find in a hospital) to school and filling it with milk. She proceded to attach it to my bookbag while I wasn't looking and then had several people "mooing." I luckily had a few wonderful teachers who got me through those years.
I believe it is instences like these that made me hate talking about my weight for so long. Everytime someone brought up anything that had to do with weight or my eating habbits I would get emotional. I have overcome that thankfully, am have found a way to talk about my weight that I am comfortable with. It isn't always easy, and sometimes I do begin to feel self concious about myself. But it is these times that I have to remember that despite my size I am still beautiful. I am not writing this to get people to feel sorry for me, I am just wanting to share my experiences in weight loss whether they be good or bad. My main reason for wanting to lose weight and eat better is just to be healthier; I want to be an example to people and be around for a long time to harass my family and friends *insert evil laugh here!* Until next time...Happy Eating!

The Snickers are Snickering at Me!

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”
~ Jimmy Dean

I think this quote suits me at least as far as my goal is pertained. Sometimes I wonder if I was just destined to be fat! I was talking to some friends recently about my goal and we got on the topic of for my height what I am "suppose" to weigh. I looked online and for a 4'11 person I am suppose to weigh between 95 and 122 pounds. Let's be realistic here....that's NEVER going to happen. I wasn't meant to weigh 120lbs, and I am a little ashamed of this but I am ashamed of that. I realize that if I did get down to that weight, I would honestly look sick. It's not in my genetics to be that thin....too much German heritage...I don't come from a line of "thin" people.
So here is my ultimate goal, I wish to be at least 180. I think this is a decent goal and one that I could reach and stick with. It is also a weight in which I think I would look decent. As of right now, that goal seems so far away!!!
The exercising is going good, I have managed at the very least to work out 3 times a week for 20 minutes. Somedays I do more, but nothing less; my problem is with the eating better/less. I just can't seem to stay away from the problem foods that I LOVE and tend to over eat them. They wouldn't be so bad if I could eat them in moderation but that is my problem area that I am trying to find a way to work on. Also my water jug I bought at the dollar store broke on Saturday, so I need to go find a new one, I have resulted to drinking a lot of soda again. BLAH! It is a process, but I am trying, but sometimes it is just never enough.

Until next time, Happy Eating!

Why is it getting harder?

I've been working out and eating better for over a week now. The good news is that I have lost some weight. The bad news is, this is about the point where my motivation starts to faulter...and it is! I've been really good all week, I've allowed myself a little treat here and there so I don't feel like I'm missing out but still haven't gone overboard. What do you all do when your motivation starts to go? Sorry this is so short, more later; until then Happy Eating!

The Horrible Truth

Ok, so I went out this morning and got a decent, reusable water bottle. It's a good size one too so I can drink more water. I was excited because I found it at the Dollar Tree (the cheaper the better!). I have my work out clothes next to my purse, I have a gym membership to Anytime Fitness here in Hannibal; which I LOVE!!! It's just easier for me to go to the gym right after work instead of trying to get the motivation up in the morning and get all sweaty before work. Plus, I will be working out at night so it will be a little cooler; also, no one seems to really work out at 11pm besides me and maybe 1 or 2 other people. So I don't get embarrased about having to work out in front of other people or have to wait for the equipment to become free.

Now for the part that I have been dreading....my starting weight! 326.2lbs *GASP* Not my best number, but not my worst either. Anyway, there it is out in the open! Seeing that number brings up a lot of things for me. The first is embarassment and shame which seem to be the strongest emotions. I hate the fact that I've let myself get to this weight and stay there for so long. But it also makes me think that it wasn't really that hard to get to this weight. The real challenge will be taking it off, which is this chapter in my life of becoming healthy and staying healthy. No matter if I take all the weight I want off or not, my main goal is to feel better about the choices I am making (i.e. eating better, moving more, less stress). Thanks again for the support and kind words everyone, it really is very helpful! Keep it coming and until next post...Happy Eating!

Where To Begin....at the Beginning of course!

I am sitting here filtiring through all sorts of weight loss web pages and books. And I am wondering which one is the best for me. I have done weight watchers before and have had success so I am leaning towards picking that up again (it makes it easieer because I already have all the books and stuff needed and already know what it takes.) I talked with my doctor a couple of months ago about losing weight and asked what he suggested. He told me about a new low carb diet that he was doing and he thought I should give it a try. I am hesitent about low carb diets...I am aware that they work but my weakness seems to be carbs. I love bread, pasta, cereal...you name it! So I am not sure how successful I would be on a low carb diet. I need something I could stick with.
I had another chat with another Dr at the hospital that I work at. He likes to come into my office and check on "his gals" as he calls us. I told him about my weight loss plans and how I am struggling with it and asked what he thought. He asked a few questions and asked if I had looked into the lap band. I hadn't and he got me some information on it. The good thing is that my insurance would cover it right now if I decided this was the best route. But once you have it done you have to follow an extremely strict diet, and it's still surgery...which is always a down side. So as of right now I think it best for me to stick to a regular diet such as weight watchers.

Today I went out and bought a digital scale so I can weigh myself and I also plan on tracking inches lost around my waist. I am starting to get pumped up and am hoping I can keep it up. I've started so many times it seems and then I just stop doing it. I do have a couple of questions for my readers and I hope to get some good insight from you!!! SO PLEASE COMMENT!!!

1. What weight loss programs have you tried? Have they worked for you and were they easy to follow?
2. What do you do when you work in an office of people who seem to constantly eat? The women I work with are good cooks and bakers and are ALWAYS bringing in some sort of goodie...I feel like I hurt their feelings everytime I decline what they brought in. Is there a polite way to say no? Can I take the treat and possibly throw it away later without them knowing about it?
3. This question sort of ties in with the last question. what are your suggestions to living with my parents who seem to have a sweet tooth? I know there is always ice cream and soda in the house...how do I avoid this? I don't know if I'm really THAT big of a soda drinker; I think for me its more or less about flavor. So with that being said, can anyone recommend something to put in my water that has no calories or sugar and yet still has a decent flavor?

Just some food for thought! Till next time...Happy Eating!!!

No...I didn't eat your bone!

So whether you believe that being overweight is to be blamed on genetics, or medical issues, lazieness, stress, etc. There always seem to be excuses as to why we are overweight! I seem to be the master of excuses when it comes to not working out. I almost rather make excuses for not doing it instead of just going to do it.
Sometimes society seems to feed into our junk food addictions and they make it so easy for us to gain weight. With the dollar menu becoming more and more of a trend..."let me get a clog my artery double cheeseburger and a large empty calorie drink because they are only $1!!!" A drive through line makes it even easier for us not have to walk to get those loaded calories.

Sometimes being overweight I get a bad rap, people seem to think that I eat any and everything....which is just not true. I'm starting to think that even my dog believes this. A couple of nights ago he had brought his bone that he chews on (its a dental bone for all those worried that I give him chicken bones or something) and I'm not sure what he did with it. Well the next morning he couldn't find his bone and he gave me this look that made me feel like he was accusing me of eating his bone!!! C'MON NOW!

So anyway, I guess the point that I am trying to make is that no matter what your "excuse" is for being overweight you can always do something about it; it might take a little work but it will be well worth it. It might mean one less trip through the merry-go-round drive through for the death by dollar menu.